Anxiety and Depression: why I post so much about them

I know that I post fairly openly and quite a bit about my anxiety and depression. However, I am a very purposeful individual and I don't do this for pity points or for a joke or for any other derogatory reason. I post about these conditions because representation is important. In 'adult culture' anxiety and depression--if even taken seriously--are almost always described as things that were in the past and have been 'overcome.' In 'youth culture' they are seen as insurmountable obstacles that permanently sit in front of the road to success. I want to represent an actual journey through these trials and toward a heathy and positive lifestyle. Even if my story doesn't directly impact another person who needs help or encouragement, maybe it will give someone the courage to share a personal journey or experience that may help this person.

Selfie ft. Audrey

My Story

I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and panic disorder when I was about 16. There was no reason for it. My brain just didn't work like everyone else's. I was a perfectionist and I was never good enough. I slept and ate very little because I never felt like I had enough time to get everything right and these things took too much time. Even when things did turn out well I never seemed happy about it.

I was prescribed antidepressants at about 17 and they sat on my windowsill for a few months. The little orange bottle was a monster that reminded me that I wasn't strong enough. I refused to take them. 

After a while of hating counseling and not getting any better, however, I was willing to try just about anything. So I took the pills and...they didn't do anything. So I tried a new pill, which actually helped, at least a little bit, for a long time. But then I went on a mission and everything resurfaced worse than before and I couldn't handle it. I had to come home.

And it was really hard. But the past six months have been invaluable in my journey and I'm so glad that I'm here and healthier than ever. I found a good physiatrist. I have developed healthier habits. I have found a medication and dosage that works for me. Life is better. It is worth it. At times I felt like I had a mountain to climb and the only tools I had been given were beat-up sneakers and a light jacket, but I am headed toward health and happiness and that is worth every step.

That all being said, let me editorialize about antidepressants:

I'm a strong believer in selfies

Taking antidepressants does not make you a 'crazy person.' Also, finding the right antidepressant and dosage can be really hard and should not be done without supervision from a medical professional. I went through almost a dozen medications before I found the right one for me and it was terrible, horrible, awful, but so so so worth it. I cannot express how much finding the right medication has helped me. Obviously, medication is not a 'cure-all' for your mental health, but it can be a very important part of the process. It's like how vegetables are important, but you can't eat three square meals of fast food per day with a side of vegetables and say you have a "healthy lifestyle." The point is, medication can definitely be a positive thing that can help with mental health, but really hard work is still required to productively live with depression and anxiety.

Okay back on track:

The main thing I want other people to know is that you can do it. Even when you can't get out of bed and you literally don't want to do anything but stare at the ceiling all day, you can do it. You can make it though today. And I know that it's really hard to believe that life will be worth living again, but it will be, and you will be happy and you will make it through right now. I promise with every fiber of my being that it is worth it to make it through another day. You are a strong beautiful person and I love you!

Love always,

Shannon

(Important note: my course is not, in any way, the only successful way to cope with these illnesses. Every person concerned about their mental health should speak with medical professionals who can evaluate individual circumstances.)