Some Hard Truths: An Update Post-Vegas

It has been about two months since I've been home from Vegas. I probably should have written this earlier, but here is an update on my situation.

More Mission Pictures! Yay!

I wish that I could tell you that the past eight weeks I have conquered my anxiety and everything is hunky dory (is that still an expression people use?). Unfortunately, this is not the case. Even when you're taking a break to take care of your mental health, life still moves on and gets in the way of everything. I am, however, working on stabilizing my mental health.

As far as my general life situation is concerned, I am currently back lifeguarding at the YMCA and I plan to return to Provo in January to continue my studies in statistics and actuarial science with a minor in general music. I will hopefully have passed two actuarial exams by next fall (I am currently studying for FM and P if you were curious) and be working toward getting a good internship. I am also available to babysit and tutor math, if you are looking for someone!

My original plan was to return to BYU for fall semester, but I spoke with an admissions counselor who informed me that the university was full for fall, but I would be able to return in January for winter semester. I then applied to go to BYUI for a semester before returning to Provo.

Two major things happened while this application was being processed which changed my plans:

(The Hymn is Called to Serve 😉)

1) It was discovered that my mom has a tumor, about the size of a fist, at the base of her spine. It is non-aggressive and more than likely benign, but she will have to have a surgery to remove it which has a recovery time of 2-3 months. She currently has no symptoms and will likely have the surgery in the next month or so. Though I do have her permission to share this information with you, we ask that you treat the subject with due sensitivity.

2) I had a mental breakdown which caused me to have to quit the job I was working at (Amazon Fulfillment), and reevaluate my mental health situation. This is a very personal part of my life, but I believe it is important for you to understand why I made the decisions that I made.

All Photos by Brittany Porter 💕

I was accepted to go to BYUI starting the beginning of September, but I rejected my admission. Right now, I need to be home in order to help my mom through her surgery and recovery, and to help myself to become healthy.

I do not plan to return to the mission field in the foreseeable future.

I do not, in any way, regret my mission. It was a wonderful experience and I am so grateful for the people I met, was able to talk to, and was able to help. I know that I served the whole mission that God intended me to serve, and that I was in Las Vegas for the time that I needed to be there. Though I loved my mission, I know that I accomplished what I set out to accomplish and that at this time my calling is not in the mission field. I am grateful for my Savior and my Heavenly Father and their help and comfort through this difficult time in my life. I am striving, every day, to live the way that they would have me live.

I also am grateful for all of you and your love, support, and prayers through this time. I love you all so much and I am so very glad to have such wonderful friends and family.

I apologize that this is not my usual signature blend of sarcasm and snark, but I promise that I will return to that formula in the future.

Love always,

Shannon